Confrontation: Who Needs It? Pastor Boaz Olang

Posted on


1Thessalonians 5:12-16 “…And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labor among you, and are over you in the Lord, and ADMONISH you: And to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake. And be at peace among yourselves. Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them who are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men. See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men. Rejoice evermore”

confrontation

Confrontation is not desirable. However, it is necessary and correct delivery, and reception of it is desirable. Typically, there are three ways to face confrontation: respond, react or avoid it. In most cases, the most preferred choice of many is avoidance.  That is, not willing to face up to confrontation. This is because confrontation, of any kind, is most likely to touch on something in us or about us that we fear to face or talk about because a weakness, fault, mistake, negligence, sin, etc. in us may be exposed and/or discussed, with a view to correct, instruct, rebuke, admonish or punish us.

Have you ever been confronted? Your friend or spouse or boss or parents or co-worker or an elder or any authority or somebody you don’t even know says to you “you blew it!” How do you feel when confronted? Embarrassed, perhaps? Defensive? Guilty? Surprised? Angry, at yourself and/or at the person who confronts you?

Why do we typically react negatively instead of responding positively to confrontation? There could be many reasons, but here are four possible reasons: First, none of us enjoys having his weaknesses or shortcomings exposed or put under spotlight. Salt added to the wound of ego or pride, ignorance or foolishness hurts. And we hate anything that hurts. Second, sometimes confrontation is painful because the spirit of the other person is haughty and insensitive. Their approach may hurt or their words may pierce through our hearts like a dagger or spear. In such cases, we tend to react by staging, sometimes, a head-to-head and nose-to-nose exchange, and that can be explosive and hurt badly. Third, sometimes the person does not have his facts straight, and his accusation may be unfair, unrealistic, malicious, or presumptuous. And forth, sometimes we think that the problem or issue is solely our own and we are not willing to open up to the possibility that we can be wrong and need correction.

No matter what the reason may be for confrontation, we need to respond positively and not defensively. Worse, we should not avoid confrontation all together. That is the godly way. Many a times we may be wrong or mislead or confused and may need confrontation from someone who can shed some light, give advise or correct us. The Bible encourages believers to admonish and to receive admonition. Simply put, it encourages believers to confront one another, in love, speaking the truth with a view to correct, advise, warn, instruct or counsel. The word ‘admonish’ carries the meaning of “setting the mind or heart right”-to redirect a person toward a correct behavior, attitude, action or approach to a problem or situation.

Paul, writing to the Christians in Thessalonica, urged them to receive ‘admonition’ from those elders who were laboring among them: 1Thessalonians 5:12-16 “…And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labor among you, and are over you in the Lord, and ADMONISH you: And to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake. And be at peace among yourselves. Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them who are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men. See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men. Rejoice evermore”

So confrontation is appropriate and should be encouraged, given and accepted within the body of believers. Next time you are confronted or confronting, don’t be negative and selfish. You may miss the will of God and your opportunity to bless or to be blessed. Meditate on these for liberation and progression in faith. Be blessed, Boaz

Advertisements

If You Have Been Blessed By This Post, Please Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s