Silent Frustrations, Evans Olang

Ephesians 5:33, “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband”

Often times when we travel, we sometimes bring air mattress to sleep on. When the time to go to sleep comes, we blow it up until its firm then go to sleep. I have realized many times that in the middle of the night or by early morning when we wake up, the mattress that was firm when we went to sleep is no longer firm. The mattress feels wobbly and uncomfortable; very frustrating. The next day we look for holes to seal only to repeat the same cycle as we discover there are more holes in this mattress to seal.

The above analogy is a good example to what we encounter with marriages that start airtight, very firm only to find out down the road that it is not firm as it should be or how it was from the beginning. There are things leaking out leaving this thing called marriage wobbling in every direction. For the last few days, God has given my prayer partner and I a burden to pray for marriages, as there are many under silent frustrations. The smile is there on the outside but on the inside people are fed up, they feel pressure, very insecure, and resentful. The Love that was to keep their marriage airtight is silently leaking out day by day because there are things that are poking holes in it.

We see people who have been successful in building corporations; great CEO’s, manages successful corporations with thousands of employees but failed in one thing, marriage which involves two people. How will we stand when what we hoped and dreamed of is not what it became when we got there? In addition, where do we go from here? God must help us airtight our marriages to sleep through the nights and days.

I believe God created marriage primarily to conform us to the image of Christ. This is to show us that it’s more than happiness. I know we are programmed to ask ourselves, “what’s in it for me, what will I gain out of it, how will it benefit me?” but that’s the wrong order of things. It becomes easy to give when you have received, and no one finds it easy to be the first one to give when they feel the other person does not deserve it. When we encounter these roadblocks, what happens, we go through unending cycle of silent frustrations that leads nowhere and before long, it drives some to divorce.

It all begins with LOVE and RESPECT, Ephesians 5:22-33, vs. “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” Marriages are tough, we can’t make them work on our own. Like Mary and Joseph who received instructions from heaven as to how to raise baby Jesus, we too need instructions from heaven on how to grow and maintain love and respect in the light of what God has joined. My dad always says, “Marriages are made in heaven, they are perfected here on earth”. We have to be in God’s will, ready for change and ready to grow. I know not of any other place that I can grow more especially in my spiritual walk than in my God given marriage. May the Lord help us keep our marriages airtight. Blessings Ev

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