Honor Your Wife, Evans Olang

1Peter 3:7, “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them (wives) with understanding, giving HONOR to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered”

We as husbands are called to dwell with our wives with understanding to which I will add, understanding heart which is to say being sympathetic. At times men can be insensitive, arrogant and pushy not caring about the feelings of other people especially their wives. It’s amazing how easy it is to be nice to everyone but the one you love and married to, the whole reason HONORING the wife becomes hard. Peter tells us to give HONOR to our wives, other bible versions say RESPECT. I feel that HONOR goes far beyond respect. We often see honor given to whoever honor is due and also given to those who have earned it. In our case, it’s not about giving honor because they deserve it, but because the bible says so. I could use H.O.N.O.R as an acronym, H-elp, O-penness, N-urture, O-bservant, R-omance and R-espect.

HELP – Husbands, our wives need our help be it with the housework, with the children, run errands. We are Honoring God and our wives when we step in to give a helping hand whichever way we can to make their work easy. Even Christ, the demonstration of a husband to the church also helps us in our day to day lives. Some husbands have a bad mentality that some jobs are left for wives therefore they will not step in to help even if the wife needs it. We are all created equal and yes there are some things expected of wives but that does not mean husbands are exempt from them. We can love by demonstrating.

OPENNESS – It’s hard for husbands to be open and real. Our wives feel they are part of our lives when we open up to them on what we are facing regularly. A wife can be frustrated when she knows that her husband is facing a challenge and is not willing to trust her with his feelings. I believe your wife can feel honored when she knows that her husband can confide in her and not feel his manhood is threatened by his vulnerability. This would also go with spending time with our wives. They want us to engage them in conversations, a feeling of closeness and belonging.

NURTURE – A wife feels honored when she knows her husband is out to protect, support and encourage her. Bringing out the best in her without belittling her or treating her as dirt. See the verse says, “giving HONOR to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, “, mark the word, “WEAKER”, it doesn’t say WEAK which would mean that though they are strong, husbands are much stronger than them and that strength is to be used to make them feel safe and comfortable and not superior. We can nurture with gentle words, thoughtful gifts, by helping them develop their inner beauty.

OBSERVANT – Every wife will agree they feel honored when their husbands are observant, taking notice and complementing the good things they do, for example cooking, fixing their hair, dressing, taking keen interest in their day to day activities.

ROMANTIC – In the light of love other gifts they may flower but love is the only power. Marriage ought to be exciting and fun despite some other things that come up. Some feel that marriage is a trap, some have chosen singleness and called it freedom. Those who are happily married know it different, they have learnt that it is a commitment. They have learnt that God is glorified in their marriage when they are committed to it and they do whatever it takes to love and respect their spouses. We have to learn to love more, be affectionate, warm, tender, admiring and showing it by our treatment. Going out of our way to hug, cherish, speak words of love, send love notes, surprise dinner home cooked or outing. Our wives can feel honored.

There is more about honoring that we could get into but let me stop with this line again, In the light of love other gifts they may flower but love is the only power. We can see new gifts flower as we honor our wives in the way that pleases God. By the way, Husbands if you don’t honor your wife, forget about your prayers being answered, the bible says so. We have a job to do!! Blessings, Ev

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