Genesis 29:15-30, vs. 18 “Now Jacob loved Rachel; so he said, “I will serve (labor) you seven years for Rachel your younger daughter.”
For those who are in love or have been in love at some point will agree that there is a level of service you do for the one you love. It’s not out of obligation or guilt but out of the abundance of love flowing from within expressed. I call it the outworking of the internal. These are the times you find yourself doing things you would not normally do, going extra mile, constantly thinking of the one you love and wondering, how did you make it all these years without him or her? It’s a good feeling but I as have learnt, love is more than feelings, it’s a CHOICE. The other thing that makes it to blossom even more is when you learn the language of love your partner responds to. What you respond to might not be what your partner responds to.
I am also a firm believer of this quote of mine, “MARRIAGE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT TO BE WITH GOD’S HELP”. Out of the abundance of this love one man asked, where does it go after one gets married? I have spoken to some people and it was clear, what they once had was no longer present or if it was, less attention was given to it. Let me take a principle from the story of Jacob and his two wives. Jacob was in love with Rachel, so he served her father seven years in order to marry her and what happened, he found himself with Leah in the morning, Rachel’s older sister exactly the opposite of what he desired. This is where my scripture comes in, someone in a relationship or marriage is feeling like they labored for Rachel but one morning they found themselves with Leah instead. What happened to the Rachel you labored for? How did she (he) turn out to be Leah after marriage (this is for both men and women)? Are you feeling like you were tricked into to marrying Leah thinking iwas Rachel? What do you do now, get rid of Leah to find Rachel? Jacob was disappointed to have married Leah but he did not get rid of her, since he still desired to marry Rachel, he still had a chance and therefore labored another 7 more years for her. This is what I call patience laboring in good times and in bad times to bring out what is missing. So Jacob had two wives, Leah and Rachel sisters but different. Both have different qualities and are all significant and vital.
Where does this leave us? Should we be in more than one relationship because what we desired did not come forth in the other? What we labored for was not birthed and so we throw in the towel? For me I see an opportunity to labor for a Rachel within the presence of a Leah. I have heard stories about people who labored for Rachel but felt like they ended up with Leah therefore labored in their marriage for some time without giving up on Leah to be married to Rachel. Same woman, double qualities. They confessed they almost threw away the best gift from God. They just realized there was a Rachel trapped inside their Leah’s they needed to labor for. They learnt that Leah had qualities Rachel did not have and vice versa. Their gifts and blessings complemented and completed each other. That is why we need to thank God for both strengths and weaknesses in our spouses.
Those who have succeeded learnt to speak the love language their mates could understand. Not their own love language they hoped their mates would understand. The more they did, the more the beauty both inside and outside was revealed to blossom. They came in as separate pieces together and began to assemble their love together, fitting each piece in its rightful place without trying to force around peg on a square hole. They learnt that it’s more than being together, it’s about assembly because you can be together but feel separate. Assembly requires work and skills building together. They didn’t want to try to separate a Rachel and a Leah, they discovered they could assemble both together after all they came from the same womb and fitted well by God’s design. Don’t dismiss Leah when she is a Rachel to be discovered and yet a Leah not lost. We can have extra ordinary relationships out of the ordinary because we have learnt to maximize opportunities within what we already have to bring out what we never had. It’s God’s way of growing us more in holiness, patience, persistence, stronger, appreciations as we labor through relationships other people would have given up on. Blessings Evans